|Org||England National Team|
|Club as Player||Stoke City FC|
2017 02 04 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch talks about bringing back his famous robot dance to celebrate his 100th Premier League goal] I was under a lot of pressure to pull that out, I don’t think I’ve actually done it in club football. It was a bit rusty but it was a nice feeling to score and bring it back for nostalgia purposes
2017 10 26 Tweet
[Peter Crouch reacts after England’s 3-1 win over Brazil in the FIFA U-17 World Cup semi-finals] Youngsters these days have no regard for tradition . We don’t get to Finals of world cups . How dare they #BRAvENG
2018 03 03 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch on Robert Prosinecki] Playing with him was amazing. He was a real character, but what a player. He didn’t really move very much, although he didn’t need to. I think I scored about 19 goals that season and he put pretty much every single one on a plate for me. He didn’t speak much, but you knew he understood far more than he was letting on. You could speak to him one-on-one and he’d answer in perfect English, but as soon as you told him to track back, he would reply: ‘I don’t understand’. He’d smoke before the game, at half-time in the showers, and after the game as well. Red Marlboros, too. The real heavy stuff
2018 09 08 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch reveals how an encounter with Roy Keane at a set of traffic lights made him sell his Aston Martin] I was playing for Liverpool and England, so I’m thinking, ‘I’ve arrived’, so the Megane can go for an Aston Martin. But I knew it wasn’t me. Getting in it was a struggle, and I never felt right in it. But I pulled up alongside Roy Keane, with a bit of speed garage playing, the sunglasses on, window down, arm out. Then I looked at Roy and he looked at me, and you’ve seen Roy look at people in that way. He looked at me, and it’s the smallest I’ve ever felt. It was a look of sheer disgust. I have to thank Roy, I don’t even know if he knew it was me or some idiot stopped at the lights, but after he took off and left me in his wake, I looked at myself in the mirror … and sold the car that week, and took a big hit on it. It wasn’t me
: 2019 07 04 Peter Crouch uses 2004 Ferrari 360 Spider.
2019 07 12 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch has announced his retirement from football at the age of 38 having represented England, Liverpool, Tottenham and many other clubs across a distinguished career] I have had 23 years to prepare for this moment but, now it is here, you realise nothing can prepare you at all. The time has come refer to myself as a ‘former footballer’; this incredible journey I have been on since I was 16 is over. My ambition was to play until I was 40, so it is scary saying the word ‘retirement’. To go from being a regular starter to someone whose role is limited to 10 or 15 minutes off the bench has been hard to accept. I will be 39 in January, but I am physically fit and could have carried on. What I didn’t want to be was someone who was thrown on to have balls smashed up to them
[During his first Spurs spell, Crouch was loaned out to non-league Dulwich Hamlet and Swedish minnows Hassleholm - and he acknowledges he has come a long way since then] Let’s be honest - you would not have taken odds on me making it then. If you had told me at that point I would go on to play for England 42 times and score 22 goals, play for Liverpool in a Champions League and FA Cup final and score the goal that put Tottenham back in the European Cup for the first time in four decades, I would have had you locked up.
[Seven-and-a-half years at Stoke took Crouch into the twilight of his career and he closed things out at Burnley - the perfect club to bring things to an end] Burnley, really, was the ideal place to finish. I didn’t make the biggest impact after I went there in January, but I was so glad I went. Sean Dyche is a top manager and the boys are quality. They have a fantastic set-up and I loved going in every day. They are a great club
2019 08 09 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch sees a good arrogance around Jurgen Klopp’s squad heading into the 2019-20 campaign] There has been a lot of talk around the city this summer about the fact Jurgen Klopp hasn’t made any major signings but I don’t mind that one bit. He doesn’t need to spend £30m on someone if they don’t fit the bill - so why waste money? There is a good arrogance about the European champions. Klopp knows he has got a quality team, his players know they will progress again and the competition on the training ground will guarantee improvement. It’s the perfect atmosphere to improve in. How they stayed with Manchester City last season was remarkable. I hope the shootout for the title is another fantastic battle between two teams I love to watch. If City falter, Klopp’s team will take advantage. They are both so much better than the rest
[When asked to pick out his key man for the Reds] Virgil van Dijk - imperious. The world’s best defender has made his then-record £75m fee look like a bargain after just 18 months at Anfield. The master and commander of it all and Klopp’s most important signing so far
2019 08 09b Retrieve
[Peter Crouch has hailed the ‘miracles’ performed by Mauricio Pochettino at Tottenham] [Spurs are] the closest challengers to Manchester City and Liverpool. Forget about some of the erratic results they had last season when they struggled with fatigue and injuries - Tottenham are a brilliant side and will comfortably finish third again. They have spent a lot of money and the arrival of Tanguy Ndombele is exciting - he will add drive to the midfield. Everyone knows about Harry Kane, who will be desperate to win the Golden Boot again, but I want to stress the importance of Son Heung-min. He is a top player, one of the best forwards in Europe and I think he will be even better again this season. Dele Alli will also be fired up. I love watching Tottenham play and think they will go from strength to strength
[Pochettino has conceded that he could have walked away from his current post had Champions League success been delivered in 2018-19] Mauricio Pochettino - could this be his last season at Spurs? He has performed miracles so far against richer rivals but the Argentine needs some silverware to show for all his fine work
[Crouch went on to say of Spurs when pressed to pick a key man for the upcoming campaign] Harry Kane - there’s so much more to his game than goals but few better strikers around. If he stays fit, expect Spurs to secure a fifth consecutive top-four finish - and Kane to win the Golden Boot
2019 08 17 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch warning the Tottenham contract rebel Christian Eriksen that the grass isn’t always greener] Harry Kane scored the goals that ultimately defeated Villa [on the opening weekend of the 2019-20 campaign] but it was only when the Dane came on that they really went through the gears. But as he has shown no indication that he will sign a new contract, you cannot rule out the idea that Tottenham will sell him before the window closes. Real Madrid is the club he wants to join but I wonder whether it would suit him. I moved many times during my career and you realise occasionally the grass isn’t always greener. Would Madrid suit him? He wouldn’t be the main man there and could end up lost. Eriksen is talented and professional but that doesn’t guarantee anything in Madrid. Look at Gareth Bale.
2019 09 18 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch also expressed skepticism that Eden Hazard could be the same player at the Bernabeu that he was at Chelsea] Hazard at Chelsea was one of the top five players in the world but watching him tonight he didn’t look it. At Chelsea he was the main man and everyone was giving him the ball from everywhere. He won’t get that at Madrid until he earns it
2019 09 19 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch believes Harry Kane’s patience is required under Mauricio Pochettino] Everyone talks about ‘they need to win silverware, they haven’t won for so long’. But people forget where Tottenham were before Pochettino and where they are now. He’s moved the club on so, so far and now people expect them in the Champions League and they now expect the possibility for them to win the Premier League and they were a million miles away from that before he arrived
2019 09 28 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch sees plenty of positives for Klopp’s side to take from a battling win at Bramall Lane] This year they look well equipped to win the title. Virgil van Dijk has been the huge difference, he was everywhere. Sheffield United threw everything at them but Liverpool stood firm. You can’t blitz teams every week. They dug in at Chelsea, they dug in today. They’ve won ugly
[Klopp has admitted that his side were far from their best against Sheffield United, with the German having said of a game settled by a fortuitous goal for Georginio Wijnaldum] These games, they are not all beauties and you have to work hard for the results. You have to respect the opponent, we had good moments and it was one of these games you have to win but not think too much about it. They threw everything at us, they worked incredibly hard, they were a real threat. I am fine with the game, not overly happy but it happens
2019 09 28b Retrieve
[Peter Crouch on Mauricio Pochettino] Pochettino is the best thing that has happened to Tottenham in 20 years. I say that as someone who was at the club in the late 1990s and, again, 10 years later when Harry Redknapp took charge: I’ve seen good and bad times first hand and I know what I’m seeing now. This is a blip, nothing more. I was at Leicester seven days ago and I didn’t see too much wrong with their performance. They should, really, have won that game and I will argue with anyone who thinks VAR was brought in to decide offside calls like the one which went against Son Heung-min. If Serge Aurier’s goal had stood, Tottenham would have gone into today’s game with Southampton in third place. As it stands, they are seventh. Not ideal, of course, but not any reason for people to believe the relationship between club and manager has run its course
Tottenham will finish in the top four again and I have absolutely no doubt about that. Pochettino might not be happy with certain aspects of his squad but not to the point that he has lost faith in them. If anything, it looks to me that he is frustrated that they are not getting the ‘glory’ they deserve. If they need some change to the personnel, they don’t need it in the dugout. Pochettino is one of the best managers in the world and has many admirers - the work he has done to make Tottenham Champions League regulars should not be taken for granted. He is the man to lead them through this gloom and, most importantly, the man to keep taking Tottenham forward
2019 10 03 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch has described Liverpool’s 4-3 win over Salzburg in the Champions League on Wednesday as absolutely mental] It was mental, absolutely mental. Liverpool were flying, playing some of the best attacking football I have seen from them this season. And then the second half, I don’t even know where to begin. 3-3, I just couldn’t have seen it, and then Salah pops up with the winner. An incredible match, highly entertaining, but for the wrong reasons for Liverpool in the end. They got a bit nervy Liverpool, you have to say. Once the first goal went in, then the second, Fabinho, whose normally so calm on the ball, was passing it out of play, they weren’t as intricate as they were in the first half. So it definitely affected them but the fourth goal killed them off and then they controlled the game and managed it out
[In the Austrian Bundesliga this season, Jesse Marsch’s side have scored 40 goals across their first nine games] [Salzburg] were incredible. I thought attacking-wise, you probably look at who they’ve played against this season and this was their first real, real test. But it was a great attacking performance from them. Takumi Minamino was class, Hwang Hee-chan, some great individual performances, and Erling Haaland coming off the bench to seal what he thought would have been the draw, but Salah popped up at the end
2019 10 03b Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says the ongoing battle between Sadio Mane and Mohamed Salah at Liverpool is considered to be healthy competition] He’s come on amazingly well hasn’t he. He’s scoring goals, he was up there as one of the top scorers in the Premier League last year, right up there with Salah. I don’t care what he says, there’s definitely a healthy competition between him and Salah for goals now. I just think he’s improved his all-round game. Obviously he was [always] incredibly fast, incredibly strong and pacy but sometimes he was a little bit wasteful. And he seems to, other than the weekend [against Sheffield United], he seems to have [changed that]. Look at some of his finishes, a few seasons back he wouldn’t have dreamt of scoring goals like this. He’s different class. I think when he was signed I think people were talking that [Klopp] might have overpaid for him. I mean he’s worth double that now, easy
2019 10 19 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says Shaqiri’s gifted but Klopp can’t trust him] Well, I wasn’t surprised Liverpool took him because he’s one of the most naturally gifted footballers I’ve played with. He can make a difference. My issue when he played at Stoke was that while, obviously, he could look brilliant, there were times when there was a lot of tactical ill-discipline.
If you’ve got a specific role to play that involves tracking back, just going and doing your own thing doesn’t really work. And I certainly don’t think that would work with Klopp. You look at (Roberto) Firmino, as technically gifted as he is, as free-spirited as he is, he still fits into the system, still works hard, still tracks back to win the ball back in midfield.
If he’s asked to drop deeper, he does it. If he’s asked to play high, he does it. (Sadio) Mané and (Mo) Salah the same. As technically gifted as they are, they’re doing their bit for the team. It’s quite obvious that Klopp needs that. If he can’t trust someone 100 per cent, it looks to me like he won’t play you. That isn’t to say Shaqiri’s not a gifted player, because he is. He’s one of the best I’ve played with
2019 10 26 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says Roberto Firmino is a genius and the man who makes Liverpool tick] Some critics will argue that Liverpool’s Brazilian showboats when he does these skills but you need to watch him closely. He never does a stepover on the halfway line or a rainbow flick by his own goal to show off. He does everything in dangerous areas to create chances. What I would have done to play alongside Firmino. If I was a manager, Mo Salah would be the one member of Liverpool’s front three that I could not do without. I have huge respect for Mane, too, but from a striker’s point of view, Firmino would be the dream partner.
I hate the term ‘false nine’ - I was an actual No. 9 and proud of it! - but Firmino plays this position better than anyone in the Premier League and the reason Salah and Mane’s goal returns are going through the roof is because they have such an unselfish partner alongside. Firmino was nominated for the Ballon d’Or this week and he deserves to be in that category. I recently heard a quote that I loved: ‘If you watch the game you don’t see Firmino. If you watch Firmino you see the whole game’. Poetry. He is the man who makes Liverpool tick. He is a genius
2019 11 11 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says Alexander-Arnold compared to Gerrard & Alonso as Crouch bills Liverpool’s full-backs as world’s best] With what they do for this Liverpool team, Andy Robertson and Trent Alexander-Arnold are redefining the way full-backs play. With their runs forward and balls into the box they have always offered such an attacking threat along with the front three, but now they are passing to each other too. I remember when I was playing for Liverpool, the full-backs were passing it inside to Gerrard or Xabi Alonso, who would play the diagonal balls forward.
Well, Trent is doing that himself now, from his position, and he is doing it just as well as Gerrard or Alonso. Then you have got ‘Robbo’ on his bike and pelting forward to get on the end of them, creating chances like he did for Salah’s goal against City. It is a joy to watch at times and they really are outstanding. I don’t know a better full-back pairing in the world at the moment, and they are another reason why this Liverpool team is going to be so hard to stop
2019 11 23 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says Gareth Bale can be happy again at Tottenham] Gareth Bale’s popularity in Spain has taken another hit after he danced in front of a flag that read: ‘Wales, Golf, Madrid, in that order,’ following their qualification for next summer’s European Championship. I don’t believe he did it intentionally but the repercussions are obvious. It is clear to everyone how unhappy he is at Real Madrid and it would not surprise me in the slightest if Tottenham tried to manufacture a deal to bring Bale home in January. Coming back to the Premier League would be massive. He was happy at Tottenham. He could be happy there again
2019 12 02 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch claims Harry Kane will not leave Tottenham now that Jose Mourinho is at the helm] I don’t see why he would leave. People are saying he needs to win trophies. He is 26, he has got a winner as manager at that football club, he is captain there - an incredible stadium, an incredible training ground, he’s from the area. If he can win something at Tottenham, which he can do under Mourinho, it will mean more to him than winning somewhere else
[Crouch says the former Chelsea and Manchester United boss is making all of the right noises at present] He has been happy and he looks a bit different. He looks like he has his smile back on his face - he looks similar to the Jose we saw when he first came to Chelsea. They look like a Mourinho team now. They have got fantastic attacking flair and they have got the right blend. He could be the right man at the right time for Spurs. It is a breath of fresh air and hopefully it will continue and that will be good news for Spurs
2019 12 03 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says Liverpool already have their name on the Premier League trophy] I think that Liverpool’s name is on it, I don’t think anyone can catch them. Leicester are closest, but I just don’t see them (Liverpool) dropping that amount of points. They have been unbelievable for the last two years. The manager deserves a great amount of credit from where they were and buying the right players. They won the Champions League last season, incredible, I thought they were so unlucky in the league, but Man City were incredible too. This year they have just carried on where they left off. Man City have had some indifferent results but Liverpool have been relentless and they have not played as well as we know they can, but they have still ground out results and that is the difference this year
[Crouch added on the depth now boasted by Klopp] They have had no real injury problems, obviously the keeper was out for a little bit, but as long as the key players stay fit, I don’t see them having a problem. They have a big enough squad to cope with the fixture congestion they have got. I don’t see a problem, they will go all the way this year. Liverpool fans won’t thank me for saying that because they have been burnt previously, but it is too long since Liverpool won it. Hopefully it does make it up to Merseyside
2019 12 05 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says Liverpool forward Mohamed Salah will be fuming despite his side easily coming out on top against Everton in the Merseyside derby] I think he will be fuming to be on the bench. He will want to be part of that team - he has aspirations for the Golden Boot, we know what he’s like. He has gone from a winger to a selfish striker. He won’t be sat on the bench enjoying that performance. He’ll have been sat there thinking he could have got two or three goals. If there’s one man who is probably walking away not so pleased, it’s probably him. I remember when England were playing Andorra and I was like ‘get me on that pitch’.
2019 12 07 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch talks about Mohamed Salah’s omission from the Liverpool starting line-up in their Merseyside derby against Everton] I remember when England were playing Andorra and I was like ‘get me on that pitch’
2020 01 01 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch claims he felt degraded during his final season at Burnley, after being reduced to a head on a stick] I felt physically fit whereas a lot of players just can’t go any more. I felt like I could do another season fitness-wise. [But] I felt like I was becoming the stereotype I always tried to avoid. In the last 10-15 minutes, we are launching it up to me. I am flicking it on, nicking a goal here and there. I knew I could have done it for possibly two more seasons, but I felt degraded by it. I literally became a head on a stick. I felt I was a little better than that
[Crouch did, however, reserve praise for Dyche, with whom he has kept in regular contact with since hanging up his boots] [Dyche] has a tough exterior, but I’ve found him to be such a top man. I still speak to him now because I shared something with him. I was going through a tough time with the retirement and he was first class with me. I can’t thank him enough
[He has kept himself busy since calling time on his playing career] There’s definitely a problem - there isn’t enough help for players. I am fortunate. I had offers to go straight into TV. But even then, I had no training or anything. All of a sudden I’m sitting there and someone gave me an earpiece and an autocue. I didn’t have a clue what I was about to do. Nobody had ever put anything in my ear other than a cotton bud. I know some friends of mine [who have retired from professional football] got in a really, really dark place - waking up and not having any real goal, splitting up with their wives, not having a job, not having any real money coming in and going from a hero to basically a nobody. It happens like that. I can see why people lose it to drink and gambling because there’s no release. It can be difficult. I know how fortunate I am to have these things to keep me busy, otherwise, I’d be losing it as well
2020 01 24 Retrieve
[Former Liverpool striker Peter Crouch agress Liverpool can only be considered a great side if they keep winning trophies after trophies] They have to dominate, don’t they? They’ve won the Champions League, it’s the first title in 30 years this one. If they go on and dominate for a few years we can then talk about them being a great side, and they’re well on their way
2020 01 24b Retrieve
[Peter Crouch believes that Raul Jimenez would be a shrewd addition for Jose Mourinho in north London] If I’m one of those big teams I’d be coming in for someone like that. He’s an all-round centre-forward. He’s scoring goals, he’s making goals, his link-up play is good, he’s good in the air. I’m surprised he hasn’t been linked with some big, big moves because he’s been doing this for a couple of years now
2020 02 01 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says Jurgen Klopp’s decision to keep senior players and coaching staff away from an FA Cup fourth round replay with Shrewsbury is disrespectful] I had an audience with Jurgen Klopp before Christmas and know how much the nature of the fixture calendar has driven him to distraction.
So I can understand why he is so determined that none of Liverpool’s top players will feature in the FA Cup replay with Shrewsbury. If I was in his squad and he had promised me a week off, I can tell you right now that nothing would stop me jumping on a plane!
Players need to be looked after and Klopp is right to make a point of highlighting the problem of having replays scheduled during the winter break. The planners have made a mistake and they need to work together to correct it. But, at the same time, Klopp has unfortunately caused himself an unwanted distraction at the wrong time by saying that he will not be at Anfield for Shrewsbury’s visit. If I am honest, it is a little bit disrespectful to the League One team.
This might be the only time Sam Ricketts manages at Anfield. It could be the only occasion some of his players step out in the stadium. By all means, play a youthful team and allow Neil Critchley to do the coaching. It just would have been better for Klopp to be there too
2020 02 08 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says Mourinho has rediscovered mojo lost at Man Utd] I think that the Mourinho we are seeing now is back to his old self. I’m sure you have seen the clip of him howling with laughter one second then leaping out of his seat to remonstrate with the fourth official the next [in a 2-0 win over Manchester City]. That is Mourinho in a nutshell, all theatrics and combat. I know he is not to everyone’s taste, but I believe he has rediscovered his mojo.
When Mourinho was appointed, I wrote here about his unveiling press conference and how it looked like he had a glint in his eye. Things have not gone smoothly since he replaced Mauricio Pochettino, with injuries and transfer sagas, but it struck me in the City game that he was so full of life.
Think about the man you saw at Manchester United. When did he ever do something that was so off the cuff to get you talking? He looked weary at Old Trafford, almost from the start, but that did not stop him winning two of the club’s three trophies since the days of Sir Alex Ferguson.
Mourinho wins things. There might still be some Tottenham fans who are uncomfortable cheering for him, so soon after the departure of the man who was universally adored, but what will those fans think if he gives them a big day out in May?
I’ve had enough of saying that Tottenham play great football, that they develop players and they are a team to be enjoyed. I want to see Tottenham win a trophy. I want the supporters to have lasting memories and there is no one better at providing an instant fix than Mourinho
2020 02 11 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch’s Euro Fest 2020] I’m absolutely thrilled to be working with the BBC and can’t quite believe this is happening. All I did was dance like a robot 13 years ago and now I’ve got my own actual TV show! I can’t wait for Euro 2020 and for football fever to grip the nation!
[What charity work does Peter Crouch do?] It really hit home, growing up so close. Mum drove past the next day and called me, she just could not believe it. You feel helpless, you want to do something. I was told about some dark things, firemen being so close but not being able to save people. The loss of life, the effect on families and the emergency services who responded, it’s devastating
Football has the power to help. We’ve got two legends as captains, Les Ferdinand and Alan Shearer. I can play because it’s during the international break - and I’m a washed-up international now. Going back to QPR as well, where it all began, will be special, so this means a lot to me
2020 02 15 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch gives insight into what Wayne Rooney would do during downtime at the World Cup] Do you remember Gazza at Italia 90 when they were saying he was playing tennis the day before a game, sweating, playing five sets? Rooney in a way was a bit like that. It’s hard to keep him off the training pitch, he just wants to play. He just enjoys it, he loves it, he’s like a kid, but in a man’s body, with a world class talent, playing at a World Cup. He was always sort of jovial. He was great around the place, Rooney. I suppose there’s a perception of him, but he was the life and soul of our dressing room
2020 02 29 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says Man City won’t win Champions League with current defence] Manchester City are a wonderful team. I could happily sit and watch them play all day every day, and those feelings were reinforced on Wednesday. Winning in the Bernabeu was a magnificent achievement but let’s not kid ourselves and pretend that this Real Madrid team are comparable with any of the giants that went before. However, it is still huge to beat them in their backyard - City are only the third English side to do it, remember. City gave the Premier League its best European result of the season in Madrid but they didn’t convince me that they are going to go all the way to the final in Istanbul
The reason is simple. They may have Kevin De Bruyne - who, I believe will go on to surpass David Silva’s impact at City if he remains at the club for a few more years - and Sergio Aguero and Ederson, who is such a wonderful goalkeeper, but they do not have a defence to match
There comes a point in Europe when you win because of the goals you prevent rather than the goals you score and City are always susceptible to conceding. Watching the Madrid game made me wonder what would have happened had they, rather than Liverpool, signed Virgil van Dijk two years ago. They would have been so far ahead of the rest and I’m sure they would have conquered Europe by now. This, it must be stressed, is not a criticism of Laporte. He is terrific but he cannot do it all on his own. When he is not around, City look vulnerable and his absence, which Pep Guardiola has put down to hamstring damage, will be felt over the next month. Guardiola must hope that does not prove to be the case, particularly when Madrid arrive for the second leg in the middle of March. Keeping clean sheets in knockout games has been an issue since Guardiola has been at the club
2020 03 07 Retrieve
[Mohamed Salah reaches goals landmark] Salah has scored 70 goals in 100 games for @LFC. That’s more than Suarez, Torres, Fowler, Owen and Crouch after 100. Impressive
2020 03 26 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch has had podcast listeners guessing about the identity of a mystery teammate known only as Parched] There’s a couple of instances (where a player will constantly talk to a manager). There’s one player that will remain nameless - I’m not saying the club, when I say remain nameless they always try to get it out me - we decided to call him Parched.
When we were doing pre-season training it was intense, really intense, and after you’ve done your running or training everyone would go over for a drink, knackered, and drink loads of water. It was roasting hot, you’d done a load of work. We’d look over and Parched would be sitting with the coaching staff. He’s not had a drink. Every drinks break we’ve had he’d be around the manager, chatting to him about tactics or just getting him on side.
So the nickname Parched really suited him. Everyone knows it. I think Parched knows who Parched is. You could trust him. He was a great lad, a top man and the only real reason he got away with it was because he was a good lad and everyone liked him
[Jermaine Jenas and Jon Walters ruled themselves out and Crouch has previously confirmed it is not Joe Allen, James Milner, Glenn Whelan nor Steve Sidwell. He added this week] I’ve had voicemail after voicemail from people constantly asking me who Parched is and having a guess - and this is footballers included. There are a select few who know, probably three, four or five players - and the rest of the Premier League has just been all over it, it’s like Who Shot Phil? I just need to get it off my chest now
[Special guests making guesses included Sean Dyche, Pepe Reina, Lucy Benjamin - who shot Phil Mitchell in an EastEnders whodunnit - and Rio Ferdinand] Darren Fletcher is a strong shout and Rio has been in the dressing room with him at Old Trafford and thinks he has Parched-like tendencies. I completely get the guess … but it’s just not right
I know people in various dressing rooms and I’m at the age where I know various managers too. People talk in the Premier League - and 100 per cent, Parched is a marmite character. He’s happy with that. He would tell you straight, now, if he was here, he’d say, ‘You either love me or you don’t’
Jack Butland is Parched in the making. There’s potential
2020 03 28 Retrieve
[Former England international Peter Crouch will never forget his meeting with Brazil legend Ronaldo] My ideal forward partner? My overwhelming choice would be the original Ronaldo. I’m not sure our styles would have matched each other, but 90 minutes with him would have made my life. I met him once, actually. I was on holiday in Ibiza and I saw him on the beach. He was busy getting through bottles of beer and had an ashtray balanced on his stomach. Every time he finished his drink, the supermodel who was with him brought him another. The chance to have a picture with him was too good to turn down, so I went over. I hoped he was going to say: ‘Oh, you’re Crouch!’ but he didn’t have a clue who I was. The picture was taken and off I went with him oblivious to the fact I was footballer
2020 04 04 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch says his children have made a special tool to respect social distancing during the coronavirus crisis] My kids have made a paddle to measure out two metres. They have stuck a mop and a brush together and then put a picture of my face on it. The motto is now: Stay a Crouch away
2020 04 10 Retrieve
[Crouch admits he regrets leaving Liverpool] The one thing that niggles away at me is leaving Liverpool in 2008. Rafa Benitez was happy to let me go and I was only ever going to be a Plan B. One of the reasons I went to Portsmouth was because Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres were such a dynamic partnership but, 18 months later, when I saw Andriy Voronin and David Ngog getting opportunities, it made me wish I had stayed. You don’t leave a club like Liverpool easily
[When asked to rank the best goals he ever scored] It’s hard to pick one, so I will select three and in no particular order. The first would be the goal that completed my hat-trick for Liverpool against Arsenal in March 2007; the technique, the move that led to it and putting it away in front of The Kop was special. For emotion and an adrenaline rush, scoring against Manchester City to put Tottenham into the Champions League was incredible. If I think about it now, I can still see the away end going mental. Last but not least, I’ll pick my first goal for England, at Anfield, against Uruguay in March 2006
2020 04 21 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch has admitted that he just wanted to hide during his first few months at Liverpool, after failing to find the net in 18 successive appearances] I went 18 games before scoring for Liverpool back in 2005 and I’ve been asked if I ever worried I’d never get a goal and if my team-mates were giving me stick. Frankly, it was the worst time in my football career. I remember my dad saying ‘you’re going to a massive club, European champions at the time, just get your first goal and your confidence and you’ll be fine’. I thought ‘yeah I’ll get in there, get one early, get the monkey off my back and then bang’. But it just wasn’t happening. In my defence, I felt like I was trying to do too much. But not too many clubs would have stuck by me. I went 18 games without scoring. Everywhere I went people knew, it was on the back of the papers. I think the total time without a goal had clocked up to 24 hours, and on the front page one of them had Jack Bauer from 24 mocked up with different pictures of my face looking in anguish, and I thought it just couldn’t get any worse. I stopped watching TV and just wanted to hide in my house. It was horrible. My dad had to keep dragging me out after games and have a few beers with me because I just didn’t want to leave the house. Then thankfully the first goal went in - which in truth probably wasn’t even my goal - against Wigan. It went about 40 yards in the air and the keeper Mike Pollitt inadvertently helped me out by trying to tip it over the bar but instead it went in. At that moment, the whole ground was shaking. It was an electric atmosphere at Anfield for that first goal. I got a load of stick. Loads and loads. But you know what, the Liverpool fans stuck with me and I’ll always remember that to this day.
2020 06 13 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch would love to see the Kevin De Bruyne at Anfield but feels [N’Golo Kante](n-golo-kante.html) and Philippe Coutinho are more realistic targets] What a joy that would be! If Liverpool signed De Bruyne, they would win the Premier League, the Champions League and the Grand National next year. Maybe if we all throw £10 in, we will raise enough money to make it happen! The thing with Liverpool is that they really don’t need much. Michael Edwards, their sporting director who I knew from my time at Portsmouth, has overseen an incredible recruitment drive. Liverpool don’t just have good players - they have good characters too and the training ground is harmonious. They won’t stand still this summer and they will keep evolving. The front three is good enough to be left alone but maybe they need something in midfield. If it was me, maybe [N’Golo Kante](n-golo-kante.html) would fit right in. I’d even bring Philippe Coutinho back, so long as he knew he would be a squad player.
2020 06 20 Retrieve
[Peter Crouch has criticised Arsenal for not tying star youngster Bakary Saka down to a new contract] I would be concerned (his contract). It’s happened time and time again at Arsenal - I don’t know who is in charge of contracts at Arsenal but he needs to be sorted
2020 06 27 Retrieve
[Mohamed Salah is a talent on a completely different level] It’s got to be a Liverpool player. I love Kevin De Bruyne, but how could someone from Liverpool not win it after the season they have had? Jordan Henderson would have an outstanding chance and if he ended up being chosen, I wouldn’t argue. I remember when he signed for Liverpool, it felt as if he was lucky to be there. But now, really, they are lucky to have him. He took over the captaincy from a legend, did things his own way and now has the trophies to go with it. But my pick would be Mohamed Salah. It might sound boring but I look at it this way - he has now outstripped Fernando Torres and Luis Suarez, he scores in all the big games and he has been integral for Klopp. We shouldn’t be immune to his greatness. He is on a completely different level
There were some managers during my career who knew how to play the press. They would have a persona off camera that was nothing like the one they tried to portray in the media. But Jurgen looks to be the best manager you could play for - truthful and straight. I know Jamie Carragher once said Sir Alex Ferguson was worth 10-15 points a year to his Manchester United teams, but I couldn’t put a figure on what Klopp has given Liverpool. The best way to phrase it is that they have 86 points from a possible 93 and those numbers don’t flatter them